Name: Adilah Miswan
Class: LGB6B
Semester: 6
Title: Black Fury
Word Count: 102
Category: Poem
Brief Summary: A dark poem about rage
Fury, that rages within me
Black fury, which burns everything in its path
O fury! rage! why do you burn so?
I do not wish to be angry
I want to be happy! Free!
How easily joy eludes me.
You, who spurn me like I am a leper
You, who laugh at me behind my back
Are you the friend I thought you were?
Spurn me if you will
Despise me if you want to
I don’t care! I don’t care!
Yes, I do care...
Fury, that rages within me
Black fury that burns everything
Burn thyself out and
Leave me be.
EDITED BY: Maisarah binti Ahmad Kamil
2 comments:
Brilliant piece of poetry!
When it comes to freestyle poetry, a poet must have techniques to set the mood. You did this well with the use (or lack of) punctuation and capitalization of letters. Lack of commas at the end of the lines quickens the pace, which highlights the fury felt by the persona.
The similes that you used "You, who spurn me like I am a leper" was quite deep. I could really feel the emotion, it was great, especially when you repeated the highlighted verb there, 'spurn', at the third stanza.
It's a short piece, but it's full with emotion that's there, straight to the point. The fury was distinguished by the fifth stanza, and was replaced by deep sorrow in the last line which made a real impact to how I felt when reading it. I felt sympathy and curiosity to the persona, wondering what might have gone wrong.
Keep it up!
Gosh, thank you for such a detailed review! Very positive too. I'm glad you could feel the emotions at play there. This was written when I was in semester 1.
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